...and that's why I had to explain to my boss what a MILF is!

So it started as an innocent work day like any other. I came in, checked my e-mail, responded to friends. Then I checked my blog to see if anyone had written a comment, hoping there was one extra, just to hold off my fragile writer ego for one more day. Then I went onto other blogs, commenting where I thought my pseudo witty comments could be taken as they were intended. Not surprisingly this kills a good portion of the morning. That combined with getting some coffee, chatting with co-workers, thinking about lunch, daydreaming, looking out of the window in my office, practicing my golf swing, and attending to other not so important matters.

But as is the life of a lawyer, I had a potential new client come in. It was some time in the afternoon. This involves a procedure to get ready for the client, including but not limited to, checking my tie in case I spilled any lunch on it, practicing my golf swing to "loosen" up for the interview, getting my game face and voice on, checking to make sure my zipper it up and of course checking my eyes for eye snot. This day was no different, I went through the routine, I was ready.

I entered the conference room with the confidence and easiness clients want from their attorney. I opened with pleasantries, threw in a few jokes, then got down to what the clients wanted to hear, including letting them know that once they signed their retainer, not only were they getting an attorney, they were getting damn good one at that. You see immigration law is a strange bastard child of the legal community. Sometimes foreigners like to pretend that they are back in the old country and some of the old country rules apply. While covering all aspects of the case with my clients, I couldn't help but notice, that the wife in the couple was a very nice looking young lady. During the meeting I had to step out of the office, and get some documents. I made some reference to my male co-workers about her looks, including using the expression sweater melons (in my defense, I did mention in my first blog, that I am a bit of an asshole). I meant it as a compliment.

So upon returning to the meeting, she mentioned that she is a mother of three. Well this immediately elevated her to MILF status.

Now for those of you who don't know what a MILF is, it stand for a "Mother I would Like to Fuck"***

***Disclaimer: I would never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, cheat on my wife. I love her very much. But I am human, and a part of being human is noticing when other people are attractive. And as the term is now in pop culture, it could be used in this situation. End disclaimer here.

So after the meeting was over, I was discussing with another co-worker how I thought the new client (yes, they retained us) was a MILF. Sure enough, just as I say that, my boss walks by and ever so innocently asks "Whats a MILF?" I pause. So many ways to handle this: walk away and pretend I didn't hear her, lie, defer to co-worker who is female. I went with option 3, deferring to the co-worker. And what does she...she sells me down the fucking river, with "No...why don't you tell her." I regroup. Then I just blurted it out. Thankfully my boss laughed. She's usually good about that sort of stuff. And once again she was in this situation.
...and that's why I had to explain to my boss what a MILF is!

Epilogue: My wife is MILF to other people. But to me, she is MIG(et to)F.