Random Thoughts

Following is a list of various things that popped into my head today:

1. I would really like to go and celebrate Groundhogs day in Punxatawney, PA. This is a group of people, who are crazy enough to celebrate a groundhog in early February. It seems fucked up enough to be a really good time. Its really no different from the other random shit, people will get together to celebrate - hitting a small ball with a bat, watching cars drive in circles, the earth being in the same spot it was in relation to the sun when you were born. Its awesome. I think I am going to try and go this February. Family road trip.
2. Why is the a magazine called Bark - which caters to the "modern dog?" The main competition is Modern Dog magazine. It was right next to it on the magazine rack. Articles include: oh fab, the Frisbee turns 50; feelin' groovy, your dog's tail tells; and dog park pointers. The tag line above the name reads "Is your dog one in a million?" My only real thought on it is what the fuck?

3. I need to buy some classical music to add to my collection, that is by actual artists. This classical bastardizing they put in all children's toys is killing me. The same snipped repeated over and over again.

4. I'd like to read the following books: Absuridstan; The Art of War and Hiroshima.

5. I thought I was getting used to living at home temporarily and doing thing like grocery shopping. But today, I pulled an onion and the whole stack came falling down. Clean up in the aisle the Indian kid is running away from.

6. Sports Illustrated's Football Preview issue was on the newsstand. Yippeeeee.

Weekend of Glory

So I got a hall pass for the weekend.

I will be traveling to NYC to visit my friends. This is going to be fantastic. V-bar here I come.

Start of Something?

The following is the start of a short story I have in my head, but I don't know where its going:

"As she stood behind the bar, she talked like one of her patrons, spilling her secrets and giving away an emotional frailty that is often reserved for the closest of lovers. At 47, Annie, known to everyone as Anna, had tended bar at the Whiskey Hole for 22 years. "

Wedding Update

So this past weekend was the friend of my wife's wedding. Going back and actually reading what I had proposed to do, a certain amount of it actually happened, and other parts worked out brilliantly, however accidentally to work out.

Her friends, did arrive a few hours before the wedding, and we did proceed to start drinking. The husband/boyfriend are cool guys so there was none of the awkwardness, like there was the previous night, when two other friends and their respective showed up. Of the couples the night before - they are all nice people, and I think that is their problem.

Short aside, on why I don't really get along with one of the couples. The last time we all saw each other was at another wedding. At this wedding, there was booze and dancing, and all the good shit that goes with it. So as the night is going on and everyone is drunk and having a good time, I see the girls dancing. And the song "Cecelia" came on. I love that song. So I say I am going to dance with my wife. The guy then tells me he doesn't dance but his girlfriend loves it. So I say, well if you went out there and danced with her, even for one song, it might make her really happy. After a bit of convincing, he went out there. I didn't follow up at the time. Fast forward to Friday. We are drinking some wine at our house and he says something along the lines of "that was a stupid move on your part, to get me to dance." The girlfriend then chimes in and says "hey, I really enjoyed that, I wish you would have danced with me more." I respond with "I guess it wasn't a good idea." He retorts "Yes it wasn't." Long story short, we wont be calling each other on our respective birthdays.

So anywho, back to the closer friends. We ended up arriving at the wedding late. The wife had to feed the baby. So we arrived as the bride and groom are exiting the wedding hall. Perfection. Bar immediately opens. Perfection. Everyone starts double fisting the drinks. Double perfection.

Not really much else to report if you don't know or care about the people. But I did go and request Cecelia, and was asked by the DJ, how I thought he could mix it in, based on the current music (which I don't remember at the time.) But shortly there after, he did play Cotton Eye Joe followed up by Banga Bus (Banga boys - I don't know the name, but it is a fucking lame ass song.
Oh I think the bartender tried to get me to go out drinking with them, after the wedding was over. My wife saw this and just gave me a look. I didn't encourage it in anyway.

We left at 11, drank more when we got home. I sobered up for the second half to be sober driver. Not perfection.

Life's Random Updates

Well after much thought and deliberation, I quit my job. My boss, had failed to meet certain demands of mine, including failing to meet certain promises that had been made, specifically related to being made partner. So now I sit back and let the headhunters do their headhunter thing and see what happens. It was not a pretty ending, but that is all I have to say about that. My last day was last Thursday.

On the upside of that, I of course now get to spend exorbitantly large amounts of time with my son, which has resulted in a few things: 1) we both have separation anxiety when we are not around each other (I know 5 days is a short period of time, but you try spending that much time with a 6 month old, for 24 hours and see if you don't get attached.) Its also kind of nice, cause football season is about to start and the baseball season is coming to its most exciting point and so we just get some time together to talk sports and have man talk; 2) more time to blog, with what can only be described as possibly the most boring blog content everywhere (he did poop today); 3) I make lists like this that have no point at all; 4) Watch a lot of movies over and over again.

Aside from that, the wife and I have a wedding to go to this weekend. I love going to weddings. The happiness, the joy, friends getting together - that's all filler. Open bar. Open bar. Open bar. This is how I anticipate the day's timeline going:

3:00 - Wife's friends arrive from out of town who will be staying with us.
3:01 - I offer everyone a beer. Finding no takers, I determine that the beer in the fridge needs to be finished so that we can fill it with non essentials - milk and whatever other shit goes in a fridge.
3:32 - After 3 beers, ask what time the wedding starts. Ask if anyone wants to smoke a joint. Answers 5:00p.m. and No.
3:33 - Determine that the weed in my plastic baggie needs to be finished so that we can throw the plastic baggie away in case the fuzz does an impromptu warrant less raid on our home.
3:56 - A little drunk and a little stoned, I start mooning the house guests. Assume that everyone finds this as funny as I do and continue for at least 15 minutes.
4:11- 4:59 - Drink like I just turned into a 21 year old rock star.
5:00 - Start getting ready.
5:05 - Ready
5:25 -Arrive at wedding, hoping the ceremony started on time and is now over and the cocktail reception has begun.
5:26 - Disappointment. Wedding still going on.
5:27 - Start sobering up.
5:28 - All the talk of god and endless love results in complete sobriety. Now a little sleepy.
6:01 - Reception starts. Note that they are one minute late in opening the bars. Make it point to tell hosts about delay and about bitching out wedding coordinator.
6:02 - Assess best stategery for optimizing free booze, before I am forced to sit at table and pretend to be an adult.
6:03 - Determine best stategery is to tell wife I love her and that I will be back in a bit.
6:58 - Argument with bartender that bar is supposed to stay open till 7:00.
6:59:30 - Obtain a drink for myself, one for wife, one for imaginary friend Arturo Van Eyck and a roadie
7:00 - 8:00 - Sit through wedding speeches. Get a little choked up, but play it off by making off color comments. Thank god for my BFF Arturo's unselfishness in giving me his drink.
8:30-9:00. Dinner. Quite nice.
9:00 till waking up in suit on couch. Assume the following things happened: Danced the Robot. Requested the DJ play not only "Funkytown" but also "Erotic City" and "Bizarre Love Triangle." Moon the bride. Moon the bride's mother. Spend 25 minutes arguing against artificial turf in sports. Drink about 12-18 beers. Asked bride's mother to do dance the polka. Start the greatest one-man conga line. Ask wife why none of her friends like me. Spend 20 minutes arguing in favor of artificial turf. Miss my boy.