Rough Night

It was a tough night last night. Shaan woke up 4 separate times. We put him to bed at about 10:00 p.m.

**Family history tangent: Shaan has been great about his sleep patterns. If he is put to bed anywhere from 9:30 to 10:30, he will wake up only once in the middle of the night around 3:00 and then wake up again, when its time for my wife and I to start getting ready for work around 6:30. .

Let me back up here for a moment. Before going to sleep my young son was a little hungrier than usual, so after his main course, consisting of breast milk, with a side of breast milk, we decided that for dessert we would give him some formula, which might also aid in helping him sleep longer. For those of you unfamiliar with the eating habits of young homo sapiens, although breast milk is the most nutritious for babies, feeding between the ages of 0-4 months occur every 2-4 hours. Children who are given formula supplement, tend to stay satiated for a longer period of time. This is often why, when combing breast milk and formula, the formula is given at night, to help the baby and parents sleep longer. But I digress. So we gave Shaan some formula before bed.

So to further set up my crappy evening, Shaan has once again gone about 3 days without pooping. He averages once every three days.

So, Shaan is put down around 10:00p.m. or so. I am woken by my wife, saying something that sounds like gibberish, because, I was in a pretty deep sleep, around 12:30. All I heard was, feeding, poop, get up, now and hurry up. Creating a sentence in my head using the words I managed to decipher, I determined that getting up would be a good idea and the sooner the better. I grabbed Shaan and took him to nursery to change him. And this is where I encountered the three days worth of poop waiting for me in the diaper and all around my son's ass. Lovely. Usually breast milk poops don't smell. When they are three day combined poops they do. Also, formula poops reek as well. It was no doubt pungent and definitely stung the nostrils. Quite the formidable scent. (Bonus points for knowing the movie reference).

I was next woken up at about 4:00 a.m. After a normal feeding, I am in charge of holding Shaan up, so that he doesn't spit up all over himself. I did this without a problem. I usually hold him upright for about 20 minutes. Now my normal modus operandi for this to take him from my wife and head down stairs and watch TV. I tried hanging out in the nursery on the rocker, but at 4 a.m., when you are dead tired, watching the minutes slowly go by is pure hell. So I have started going downstairs and watching TV. Now because I watch a lot of Comedy Central and I will end the night with the Daily Show or Colbert Report, it is usually the last channel on. Comedy Central stops running its programming at about 3 a.m. This is promptly replaced by an infomercial for Girls Gone Wild videotapes. So inevitably it is the first thing that comes up. Therefore the first thing I am struck with at 4:00 a.m. with my two month old, sleeping on my chest, is college girls flashing a camera, with a strategically placed star which reads, "order now" or "uncensored" or "we checked, they are at least 18." Now any hetero guy, probably, anybody actually, that turns this on, will watch for a while. So I do. But after seeing the same add over and over again (the latest shtick for the GGW series is to incorporate some of the douchebags from the MTV Real World series to videotape the women - this is what those in the advertising industry call synergy. Now I am not one to judge what does it sexually for somebody else, but can someone explain to me how the image of Cyrus from the Real World coaxing drunk girls to flash makes for a more erotic experience, well more so than any random douchebag getting a girl to flash), it grows tiresome. Because you think to yourself, just once, they are going to forget to put the "order now" sign up and one might just get a glimpse of forbidden nipple. But it doesn't happen. So inevitably I change it to ESPN news. This is when I learned my beloved Dodgers lost to the dreaded Giants (Bonds is on 'roids, accept it. If not, please explain why his head is twice the size it used to be. What equipment does one use at the gym to expand your skull?)

The third time I was woken up by Shaan crying at 5:30. He just needed to be held for a while. The formula wasn't agreeing with him. I was up for about 10 minutes.

The last time I was woken up was at 6:15. He had trouble sleeping all night. He was more comfortable sleeping on my chest. I took him back to bed and let him lay on my chest. It was ten minutes before I fell asleep with him there. I woke up at 7:15 to get ready for work, with him unmoved on my chest, not realizing he was there. Kind of scary.

Needless to say, I am bit tired today. My wife has had it more rough than me as of late. Breast milk only tonight.

What Does it All Mean

I had a dream last night that I was driving car and the brakes were very weak. The car would slow down, but barely, even though I was slamming my foot on the break.

I think there is something huge in my life that I may think that I dont have control of and is going out of control. Once I figure out what that thing is...well, it will still be out of control.

Happy 420

"I want to be one toke over the line sweet Jesus
One toke over the line
Sittin' downtown in a railway station
One toke over the line
Don't you just know I waitin' for the train that goes home sweet Mary
Hopin' that the train is on time
Sittin' downtown in a railway station
One toke over the line"

Here's wishing you a happy toke on 420.

The Many Moods of Shaan (A Tribute at 65 Days)

Just Born

Less than a week old

About 1-2 weeks old

I have no idea

The vacant stare

A common occurrence

Dad forgot to rotate the picture

The most comfortable sleeping position

(To be determined)

The B & W art photo

One of Dad's favorite pictures

I'm tired of writing commentary

Still tired of it

So how are things?

Kiss me, I'm Indian

The serious look

So tired

Fuck yeah

Somewhere around 1 1/2 months old

Just before 2 months, the cheeks are starting to come in

Precious little guy (Simpsons reference)

He was into a colorful striped onesies phase

Baby Update

Shaan is now 2 months and 2 days old. How time flies, it seems like just yesterday that I was sleeping all the way through the night. Actually to be honest, my wife, the trooper, let me sleep through the night last night. I felt great this morning. But back to Shaan. He is now up to 10 lbs even and is 22 inches long. This puts him in the 10% and 25% percentiles for those categories, respectively. One day I really hope he read these old entries, this thing really was supposed to be all about him. But then I am so self interested, that I had to write about what was going on with me. I have selfishness issues.

So on his 2 month anniversary of his birth date, Shaan got his shots - for a variety of diseases that we are attempting to eradicate. He got one oral medication and three shots. He cried for about 3 minutes after the shots, but then was no worse off. A tough little guy at the age of 2 months. I have heard some kids just cry for what seems like forever. Maybe its the way the shots are given. But he was real good about and didn't seem to be bothered a few minutes later.

One of the side effects of these shots is a possible fever. And sure enough Shaan's temperature went up. Now for those of you unfamiliar with babies and baby related activities, when a baby gets a fever, the temperature must be taken anally. Now I have deferred in the past to my wife to take Shaan's temperature, because the thought of sticking something in my son's butt, is just not a pleasant one. But it was time I did it. Crazy thoughts raced through my head - what if I hurt him, what if I put it too far in (is it like a q-tip: stop when you feel resistance), what if he squirmed and it broke, what if he liked it and smiled. So many things to think about.

But as is with life, the one thing you don't think about, is the one thing that happens. We placed him on the changing table with his diaper off. So I dipped the thermometer in the lube. I then lifted his legs and get my head down to ass level for the best view, just to make sure I don't miss. And then, just as my face is inches away and I am about to place the thermometer in - Shaan farts. He farted right in my face. And as with all men, whenever he farts, he smiles. I just sat at butt level stunned that my son, whom I have nurtured since childhood, would fart in my face. Ungrateful I tell ya. Oh yeah, he had a slight fever. Its gone now.

Also today, my wife called me at work. She has two days of her maternity leave left. She asked if I minded if she and her mom took Shaan to the temple. I told her I didn't mind. It makes her feel better to get the baby "blessed." She knew I wanted no part of that. So it worked out nicely. But I did score some samosa and rasam from the South Indian restaurant near the temple. Out of curiosity, is there a Hindu temple in America, that doesn't have a kick ass South Indian restaurant less than a mile away?

So all in all, Shaan is doing great. He smiles a lot more now and can raise his head on his own for quite a while. Oh yeah, he farts like a champ. That's my boy.

Random Wrap Up

I had a whole bunch of little thoughts, that I could not forms into blog worthy entries, so I thought I would write them down. Before I did, I went and checked out the Barmaid's blog, who had done the exact same thing, and linked another person who has as well. But since, she was the partial inspiration for this blog (the whole thing not the entry), I will give her all the credit.

In no particular order, here's whats been swirling around in my head:

1) The Masters golf tournament was played this weekend. One of the interesting things about it, was that for the first time in the history of the tournament, an Indian national was invited to play - Jeev Milkha Singh. He even made the cut. As you may or may not be aware, every player bring their own caddie to lug their clubs. I thought it would have been incredibly funny if his caddie, carried the clubs "coolie" style on top of his head, like they do at Indian train stations and airports. Just the image of this guy walking across the golf course with the clubs perfectly balanced on his head to gain the most support for them, to me, would have been priceless. In the final round he was paired with Vijay Singh (a Fijian national).

2) I felt guilty about taking a half day on Good Friday. Now if as most of my friends and family know, and any reader who may have read some of the previous blogs, I am very anti organized religion. This isn't just Christianity or Hinduism, but all of them. But the guilt came more from the fact that we claim to live in a secular society and yet we get holidays for Good Friday and Christmas. This just isn't right. We don't get a holiday for eid(sp?) or for Diwali, or for passover. Now the counter argument will be that this is a nation that was built on Judeo-Christian "values" and it is based on that. But the last time I checked, the Resurrection, was a bigger day in the Church than the birth of Christ. Also, last time I checked the following were not crimes:

• No other gods worshipped
• No graven images made
• not taking the lord's name in vain
• The seventh day is sabbath
• honoring your mom and dad
• No adultery
• No coveting

For the record the ones that are crimes are (not killing, not being a false witness and not stealing).

3) I am bored shit less right now. Literally, I am constipated. Having a baby is a wonderful, joyous, gratifying extremely BORING life. The kid is great, but so, so boring. He just lays there. I know he is only two months old (exactly two months tomorrow), and I am not expecting miracles (maybe if I just prayed to Pope John Paul II for Shaan to be more entertaining) and I did expect this, but that doesn't take away from the fact that he is boring. Very poor conversationalist. More of a gurgler.

4) MILF Update. My boss walks into my office and tells me she has a story for me. She was out at her lake house with a friend and his teenage children. One of the teenage children was going on about a girl. So my boss says to her friend, he (the son) must really like this girl. The friend responds that what the son really likes is the mother. To which my boss replies, in earshot of the teenage kid, "Oh she must be a MILF." The kid immediately turns around with an embarrassed look on his face. The friend doesn't know what it means, and has it explained to him by my boss. See I truly am spreading good will across the world.

5) The family is going to LA. We have planned a mini vacation to head back to where I grew up to see family and friends. I will get to see my nephew for the first time and a lot of people that I really miss. I will most likely be eating sushi and Mexican food for all my meals. If I can find a restaurant that has both - perfect. I can't wait to walk the trails of Runyon canyon, swim in the beautiful pacific and get drunk in my old stomping grounds (oh how I miss you, St Nicks, and your pint glass vodka tonics.)