Is this where it begins or end

"Is that his little pecker." This will no doubt be one the first comments my child will claim, by my inference that he has a small penis, that will have scarred him for life. But in my defense, according the to the Ultrasound tech, parents can rarely identify the man part on the screen, especially individuals such as myself, who have never seen a live ultrasound before. So dont fret, yet unnamed child of mine, you may have a career in the porn industry after all.

Before we go any further, let me just say that I have no ideas what I am doing. This applies to multiple aspects of my life, including but not limited to, raising a child, writing a blog and being a good human being.

Let me sum up my life so far. so you know where my not so witty insight come from: Born in India, moved to L.A. at the age of 5, lost accent, grew up in L.A., college in CA, law school in CA, dated a lot, broke up a lot, drank a whole lot, smoked a whole lot, met girl, fell in love, moved to another part of CA, moved in with said girl, proposed to said girl, rejoiced when said girl said yes, married said girl, moved to city far from CA with very few Indians but big enough to have a football team, knocked up said girl, started this blog. Things happened in between all of that stuff of course, the interesting parts(usually the ones dealing with my devolution to a person who should not be allowed in society) I will try and retell as accurately as possible.

Now everyone I have talked to has said that my life is totally going to change when Junior arrives. The thing is, that I kind of enjoyed my life before one of my sperm defected from its "brief observation of vagina" only missions and decided to shack up in my wife's uterus for 9 months. We are 33 weeks into the defection with 7 weeks to go.

So when the little whippersnapper decides to enter this world and begin his life, it will most likely be the end of my life as I knew it.

Next blog: why the 2nd year resident doctor at the teaching hospital had to stick his whole fist up my wife's vagina to see if the cervix was opening? why couldnt he just ask her?