My dad and I, we dont get along. Well let me rephrase that, he gets along with me or at least wants to, but I think we are just too different to have anything but a superficial relationship. Now, I usually end up losing the "let me tell you how fucked up my dad is" competition to my friends, who come from broken homes, but that doesnt really make my relationship with my dad ok.
His views on life are so different from mine, that if he were a person I met at a dinner party, I would not talk to him for no longer than the 10 seconds it would take me to pound a full beer and excuse myself to get another. In hindsight, I think that I became the person I am today on my own. I see very little of him in me. I dont know why this happened - different generations, different lifestyles, different parenting techniques. I have tried my best to find some understanding and I cant. My dad had to play the bad cop amongst our parents. This is not an enviable role, especially when children turn into teenagers. I just think there were better ways he could have taught us. I think he tried too hard to hold onto and instill in us the values of the old country, while we(my older brother and I) were just trying to be kids and do as kids do. But maybe he just didnt know any better or any other way.
I think that may have been one of the reasons, I was so worried about having a boy. What if Junior turns out just like me - an ungrateful son, who complains about his father and how he was raised on his blog. I might be having a breakthrough right now, I'm not sure.
When I initially decided to write this blog, I really didnt know what direction, I wanted to go with it. But after some careful thought, with the help of some intoxicants, I thought, that this would be a good way to keep a journal for my son, before he was able to read and write -well actually before he was even out of the womb. I do hope I have records of it to give to him one day and he'll realize that his parents are not the freaks of nature we will appear to be when he is 18, but rather two people struggling to get by like everyone else. Maybe even somewhere along the way, I will gain some insight into what my father went through - why he had to be such a hard ass when we were growing up. I hope I can, I really would like to know.
With that, Junior really hasnt dont much over the last couple of days, except kick my wife's ribs really hard.
Next time: Does opting out of being the bad cop in the parenting scheme authorize me to allow Junior to have ice cream for dinner?
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