Life's Random Updates

Well after much thought and deliberation, I quit my job. My boss, had failed to meet certain demands of mine, including failing to meet certain promises that had been made, specifically related to being made partner. So now I sit back and let the headhunters do their headhunter thing and see what happens. It was not a pretty ending, but that is all I have to say about that. My last day was last Thursday.

On the upside of that, I of course now get to spend exorbitantly large amounts of time with my son, which has resulted in a few things: 1) we both have separation anxiety when we are not around each other (I know 5 days is a short period of time, but you try spending that much time with a 6 month old, for 24 hours and see if you don't get attached.) Its also kind of nice, cause football season is about to start and the baseball season is coming to its most exciting point and so we just get some time together to talk sports and have man talk; 2) more time to blog, with what can only be described as possibly the most boring blog content everywhere (he did poop today); 3) I make lists like this that have no point at all; 4) Watch a lot of movies over and over again.

Aside from that, the wife and I have a wedding to go to this weekend. I love going to weddings. The happiness, the joy, friends getting together - that's all filler. Open bar. Open bar. Open bar. This is how I anticipate the day's timeline going:

3:00 - Wife's friends arrive from out of town who will be staying with us.
3:01 - I offer everyone a beer. Finding no takers, I determine that the beer in the fridge needs to be finished so that we can fill it with non essentials - milk and whatever other shit goes in a fridge.
3:32 - After 3 beers, ask what time the wedding starts. Ask if anyone wants to smoke a joint. Answers 5:00p.m. and No.
3:33 - Determine that the weed in my plastic baggie needs to be finished so that we can throw the plastic baggie away in case the fuzz does an impromptu warrant less raid on our home.
3:56 - A little drunk and a little stoned, I start mooning the house guests. Assume that everyone finds this as funny as I do and continue for at least 15 minutes.
4:11- 4:59 - Drink like I just turned into a 21 year old rock star.
5:00 - Start getting ready.
5:05 - Ready
5:25 -Arrive at wedding, hoping the ceremony started on time and is now over and the cocktail reception has begun.
5:26 - Disappointment. Wedding still going on.
5:27 - Start sobering up.
5:28 - All the talk of god and endless love results in complete sobriety. Now a little sleepy.
6:01 - Reception starts. Note that they are one minute late in opening the bars. Make it point to tell hosts about delay and about bitching out wedding coordinator.
6:02 - Assess best stategery for optimizing free booze, before I am forced to sit at table and pretend to be an adult.
6:03 - Determine best stategery is to tell wife I love her and that I will be back in a bit.
6:58 - Argument with bartender that bar is supposed to stay open till 7:00.
6:59:30 - Obtain a drink for myself, one for wife, one for imaginary friend Arturo Van Eyck and a roadie
7:00 - 8:00 - Sit through wedding speeches. Get a little choked up, but play it off by making off color comments. Thank god for my BFF Arturo's unselfishness in giving me his drink.
8:30-9:00. Dinner. Quite nice.
9:00 till waking up in suit on couch. Assume the following things happened: Danced the Robot. Requested the DJ play not only "Funkytown" but also "Erotic City" and "Bizarre Love Triangle." Moon the bride. Moon the bride's mother. Spend 25 minutes arguing against artificial turf in sports. Drink about 12-18 beers. Asked bride's mother to do dance the polka. Start the greatest one-man conga line. Ask wife why none of her friends like me. Spend 20 minutes arguing in favor of artificial turf. Miss my boy.