Honesty

How hard is it to be honest with yourself. To see yourself as others do. I looked at my feet today and didnt recognize them, I saw my son's.

Since moving to Pittsburgh, I dont seem to see myself anymore. Having said that, I wonder if I ever have. With all the time and energy I have invested in my son, what if I fail him as a father. What if I already have. How much am I a reflection of what I want others to see? How much of a relfection of what I want to see? Sometimes I think, I couldnt be happier, other times, I wonder how much longer till the nervous break down. How is that right? How is that possible?