A Story to Tell My Grandchildren

It was day 5 in the expirement known as the Shaan project. I was still overly cautious with everything that I was doing with baby, being that he was so small and apparently very helpless. At 5 days old, kids dont do much. They eat, sleep, shit and then do it all over again in a different order - speaking of which, that is kind of what I picture retirement to be like, and I cant wait.

I try to help my wife out as much as I can. Right now, she is sleeping, I just bottle fed the baby some milk that my wife had pumped earlier. A brief aside: Breasts have temporarily lost all sexual connotations for me. They are very functional right now, and no matter how many times my wife whips them out for Junior, they just dont have the same effect that they did one day before he was born. I know this will change and it is only a matter of time, but i really love those gals. Sure I favored righty over lefty a little bit, but I loved them equally.

But I digress. My helping out extends to changing Shaan's diaper anytime I am available. So on day 5, I was still new to experience and changing diapers was a slow thought out process, that involved me considering things like, am I squeenzing his balls and penis in too tight, did I get every piece of poop out of every little wrinkle in his old man looking body, etc. So basically, the process was slow and time consuming.

So on this fateful day, during a feeding, he had done his thing. I grabbed him and offered to change him. I placed him gently on the changing table(something I did not know existed before my wife beame pregnant -I just thought there were cribs), which have placed in the corner of Shaan's room. I slowly removed his clothing and got to the diaper. I gently removed the diaper and inspected the contents. To our joy, his poop had become the yellowish, orangish, brownish grainy concotion that it is supposed to be. I smiled the proud father smile and wiped his butt and the surrounding area clean. I them moved to place the used diaper with wipes to side.

Then it happened. I heard what could only be described as the sound of jet engine eminating from my son's ass. I looked back in confusion and from out of his tiny little butthole emerged a streak of liquid/solid poop like a jet stream that flew straight at the wall about a foot and half from his bum. This lasted for about 10 seconds. I stood there is stunned silence, just watching the butthole explosion take place. It was like being drunk at a bar and watching a pint glass fall out of your hand and break on the floor. You know you should do something. You want to do something. But you cant, you just watch. And I did. I watched his feces hit that wall in a straight line. Gravity had no effect on the trajectory - it was a straight shot. As I stood there aghast, when he had finished, and all that was left was streaks of shit going down my wall, I looked back to see Shaan just laying there making his normal crazy sounds. I know he was smiling on the inside.

Next time: A thank you to all the readers who have checked out the blog and left such kind comments and congratulations.